What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
16.06.2025 00:55
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
When you visit a store, do you go to shop or buy?
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
What was your best sex experience that still makes you horny?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Make Nazis afraid again!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
What's the most trivial thing that ever made you go to the doctor?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How can I watch porn on TikTok?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!